Surgery Day

I guess the powers that be were listening, or I just had a really good hospital staff. Either way, I'm still here and very relieved about that at least. Now begins the healing process. It's been a little rough but I know it will get better every day. That's what I keep telling myself when the pain meds wear off anyway.

Surgery day dawned very early. Joe and I got up at 4 a.m. because I had to be at the hospital at 5:45 a.m. with surgery scheduled for 7:45. We were both anxious. He asked me one final time if I was sure I wanted to do this and I was. There were four other women waiting in the admission area and they took us back all at once. We were put into rooms to change into our gowns, have our compression leggings put on and get officially admitted. The hospital had just debuted a brand new computer system and I was the first patient for my nurse using the new program. It stressed her out a bit because it would not cooperate at first, which in turn stressed me out a bit, and it took a long time to get my information plugged in, but finally she did.

She then started my IV. I was already anxious about the needele since I had passed out last week while getting blood drawn for my pre-op bloodwork. Sure enough, just like the lab, the nurse had trouble getting my vein to cooperate, and I felt the nausea and lightheadedness sweep over me. She laid me back and I breathed deeply to try and get it to stop. She went and got Joe so he could be with me to help calm my nerves. Then, she decided to use a smaller needle and try the other arm. I think I almost broke Joe's hand when the needle went in. Luckily that one went in easily, though, and I was fine. I really think the nurse was flustered by the computer system and had a hard time getting her composure back. Thankfully, I didn't see her again.

Not long after that, people started flooding in and out of my little room. The OR nurse, the surgeon's assistant, the anesthesiologist, and finally my surgeon. I'm not sure I remember any of their names now, except my surgeon of course. They were all very nice. When the anesthesiologist asked if I had any more concerns or questions, I told him please just wake me back up and he said that was the plan. I was then wheeled out of that room to the OR. I remember Joe and I both calling out one last "I love you" as I was wheeled off.

I was quickly in the OR and moved to the table via a very ingenious air mattress. It was like riding on a hover craft. The anesthesiologist gave me something to calm my nerves I think because I suddenly felt a little happy. That was the last thing I remember until a lady was saying my name over my face.

It was awful. I was in a daze and felt like I didn't have control of my voice or breathing or body. I felt the pain in my abdomen almost immediately. Just as I recognized the pain, the nurse was asking me what the level was on a scale of 1-10 and I vaguely remember motioning it was a 7 or 8 only because she said a 10 would be that it brought me to tears and that wasn't the case. She said she was giving me pain medicine. I still couldn't speak.

What did almost bring me to tears was that I felt I couldn't take a deep breath. I started wheezing and groaning to breathe and I could not force it deeper. The nurse seemed to panic a little and I heard her call for the anesthesiologist. He was there in seconds and I heard her tell him she didn't know what was wrong because my lung sounds were clear and I was 100% saturated. They both were asking me if I could breathe without groaning and I tried but I could not. I briefly thought maybe I wasn't going to make it through this after all. He then told her to give me .5 Ativan. I had no idea what that was but not long after she did, I started to breathe easier. The pain meds must have kicked in too because the pain became barely noticeable.

I laid there for a few minutes practicing deep, slow breaths, and I noticed the time on the clock on the wall said almost 10:30. I found my voice and asked her did the surgery take longer and she said no. She said I had been brought to recovery at 9:20, so the surgery was about an hour and a half. I was in recovery a little longer I guess because they had told me earlier recovery was usually only 30 minutes. She was preparing me to go to my room. I asked if Joe was waiting in my room and she said they hadn't gotten him yet. I got a little emotional and I felt the tears start to glide down my temple. I asked her what Ativan was and she said it was for anxiety. She comforted me, saying that it was ok to cry...lots of people do. She asked if I wanted a little more Ativan and I nodded. I was just relieved to be alive I think and I couldn't handle the emotion of it all.

I was soon set up in a semi-private room, and a few minutes later, Joe was finally there. I was so happy to see him again. My heart swelled with love, which I know sounds corny, but it's the only way I can describe it. I was just so happy to still be in his life, and in that brief moment I discovered a whole new appreciation for my life and how lucky I am. He stayed for a little while and then I told him to go ahead to work and I would see him later. I knew my mother was on her way and my aunt would be coming after that. I would have plenty of company, and I also knew it would make him feel better to work for a few hours. I was in and out of sleep with the help of a patient-controlled pump for pain medicine anyway.

My mom came a while later and sat with me. I chatted with her here and there between sleeping. I was thirsty and wondered when they would be coming to take me for my x-ray to make sure everything was in place. I couldn't have any water until that test. Apparently, there was a mix up and they thought I was still in the OR. The nurse got it straightened out and they came for me a short time later. I was wheeled down to an x-ray room, made to stand in front of a screen and told to take a big swallow from a cup of barium. It was bitter and awful and they made me do it 2 more times after that. By the third swallow, I really thought I was going to vomit, but thankfully I did not.

After my test, it still took at least another hour before they finally brought me some water. So, I surmised that everything was going down as it should with no leaks. I think Mom stayed a couple hours after that, but then she left to pick up my son from daycare and take care of him until Joe came home later. My aunt came not long after she left. She was very helpful, getting things for me and helping me adjust when needed. I started to feel more awake and conversational. The nurse came in then and asked if I wanted to get up and walk around. I did because I had to pee so bad! She unplugged my IV machine and left me to it.

I got up slowly and sat on the side of the bed. I felt woozy and laid back down for a few minutes. The pressure in my stomach became too much to bear though and I became determined. Between the air they pumped into my abdomen to give them more room to work during surgery, the swelling inside from the surgery, and my full bladder, I was determined to get up and at least relieve some of it. I got up again, gritting my teeth through the pain of the 5 incisions on my belly, and made it to the bathroom. Damn, that felt good.

Since, I was up, I decided to take a walk. They said the more I walked, the better I would feel. So, I left the room, with my aunt behind, and did 2 laps around the nurses stations. Joe came in right after I returned to my room. He looked so tired. I felt so bad for the long and stressful day he was having. He sat in the chair next to my aunt and they chatted while I laid down, in and out of sleep.

They brought me some dinner soon after and I was excited to taste something besides water and really wash the barium taste out of my mouth. I opened each container and looked...chicken broth, jello, water, hot tea. A feast! I grabbed the spoon and went for the warm broth. I managed to get a few teaspoons down, but it left a knot at the bottom of my esophagus that made it hard to continue. I had to pause between each couple swallows. I managed a few very tiny swallows of jello after that and one swallow of the hot tea. I could get no more down and laid back on my pillow.

After a short rest, I got up and walked the circular hallway of the 4 South wing. I did 3 laps with Joe and my aunt in tow. I felt pretty good overall. I mean, the swelling in my stomach was horrid and the incisions were sore. I also had this terrible pain in my left shoulder that I was told was trapped air and would dissipate after a few days. My throat was sore from the breathing tube too. BUT, other than all of that, I was ok. Walking did seem to help but I had to be careful not to overdo it.

When I returned to my room and the nurse came in to check on me, we asked about the possibility of me going home that night instead of the next day. She said it was possible, but I needed to get the whole cup of water down that they gave me. That was tough, let me tell you. It takes me a long time right now to get down a whole cup of water, but I sipped it on and off for the next hour. My aunt had gone and Joe and I waited another hour for word of my discharge. The nurse said the on call doctor was reviewing the charts and I should know soon. She came back about 30 minutes later and brought a discharge folder for me. I was excited. I signed the papers, went over the instructions and she left, telling me her shift was over and the oncoming nurse would remove my IV and finish discharging me.

At 8:30 p.m., I was finally rolled out to Joe's waiting car and home bound...